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- The concept of 360 Living is not to try to tackle everything at once, nor to focus obsessively on any one area at a time. It's about balance. There's a certain order which dictates our ability to find happiness.
- Happiness: positive emotions surrounded around joy and living in a mentally joyful state of mind. This could also be known as the single goal that all humans strive for. 'I just want to be happy'. 'My happiness is the most important thing to me'.
Consistent with Tip 16, it’s difficult to be happy if you’re constantly tired and struggling to find enough energy to get through the day. To assist with this, regularly practice relaxation and/or meditation strategies. Tip 18 Manage your time and priorities. We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends. George Vaillant.
We all know that it’s hard to be creative and successful at work when we are feeling negative and stressed. Now take a moment to imagine: what would work be like if, instead of feeling negative and stressed, you felt more positive, creative, productive, resilient and engaged? According to studies in positive psychology and neuroscience, you can experience these and more benefits by increasing your own happiness and the happiness of those you work most closely with.
The research is abundantly clear: happier brains do better work.
One way to maximize the happiness and productivity of your team is to specifically set aside time to apply research-based strategies. At Happy Brain Science, we have curated many activities that we facilitate in our workshop The Science of Being Happy and Productive at Work. These happiness workshop activities help employees to increase optimism, boost brain function, and build team trust through shared experiences.
Happiness Workshop Activity # 1 – Start Meetings with Recognitions
Most of us are missing our team’s best work by tolerating mostly negative comments—while pointing out errors may sometimes be necessary, failing to praise the positive produces a negative environment and pushes brains into a “minimize risk” mode. Instead, you can elicit a broaden and build response, by specifically setting aside time to express gratitudes at the beginning of meetings. Expressing and receiving gratitude increases happiness, sets a positive tone to the meeting or workshop, and puts brains into a positive, creative and problem-solving state.
Suggestion for applying this happiness workshop activity: At your next team meeting, share about the science of how expressing gratitude increases happiness and brain function; ask each employee to come prepared to the next meeting with recognition(s) they’d like to express to at least one other person on the team—the recognitions could be verbal, written down, or shared in some other way. Test and learn with this activity to find out what works best for your team.
Happiness Workshop Activity #2 – Go on a Walking One-on-One
We all know that exercise is fantastic for brain function and managing stress. What you may not have known is that when your body is physically active it begins to produce more Brain Derived Neurotropic Factor (BDNF), which acts like a fertilize for brain cell development. Walking one-on-one meetings allow you to combine physical activity and social connection during a meeting, leading to increased happiness, creativity and comradery. As John Cacioppo explains, social connections are a huge factor in happiness, which leads to better brain function.
Suggestion for applying this happiness workshop activity: During your next training session or informative team meeting, ask attendees to pair up and go on a “walking one-on-one”. Give them a specific reflective question to focus on and answer during the walk. When attendees return, ask if anyone would like to share any insights from their walk.
Happiness Workshop Activity #3 – Present Pecha Kuchas
A Pecha Kucha presentation is one of the best ways we’ve experienced to build team trust quickly. In a nutshell, a Pecha Kucha is simply a personal slide show, containing 10 pictures with each picture being on screen for 10 seconds—the key is that each slide must contain pictures from an employee’s life outside of the office. According to this study, the feeling of ‘belonginess’ has strong effects on brain function and well-being. Knowing who our co-workers are, outside of their work lives, enables us to connect over who we are as individuals.
Suggestion for applying this happiness workshop activity: Download and share the template with team members, and ask them to prepare their own unique Pecha Kucha presentation. At each upcoming team meeting, ask 1-2 people to stand up and present their pecha kucha until each person on the team has had an opportunity to share.
Happiness Workshop Activity #4 – Share Your ‘Best Possible Future’
Researchers have found that writing about your goals–and successfully reaching them–can help you to gain insight into your priorities and emotions, increase feelings of control, improve performance, and boost happiness. Writing your Best Possible Future is a science-based and effective tool for creating a compelling personal vision while also boosting optimism and well-being.
Suggestion for applying this happiness workshop activity: Ask each employee to write his or her Best Possible Future at work for three years from now. Facilitate a meeting where each employee shares his or her best possible future–by doing this, each person learns more about what their colleagues enjoy to do and what they hope to learn and accomplish in the near future. If you’d like additional guidance, you can access this Best Possible Future template.
Happiness Workshop Activity #5 – Play a Game Together
According to Dr. Sivasailam “Thiagi” Thiagarajan, “play is one of the most powerful (and least used) strategies for improving human performance.” Games provide a safe place to approach issues that might be hard to discuss in real life, and can help to create connections and build trust among players. Utilizing games and play in meetings adds emotion to learning through clear rules for engagement and opportunities for immediate and valuable feedback.
Suggestion for applying this happiness workshop activity: Seek out a workplace engagement game that best fits your teams needs and culture. GetHppy.com partners with Happy Brain Science to provide a discount to their happiness-boosting and research-based game, Choose Happiness @ Work. Click here for access to the GetHppy Discount.
[fusion_builder_container background_color=”#ffffff” background_image=”” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”1px” border_color=”#d3d3d3″ border_style=”solid” padding_top=”20px” padding_bottom=”20px” padding_left=”10px” padding_right=”10px” hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_3″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding=”top: 20px;” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_imageframe lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” style_type=”none” hover_type=”none” bordercolor=”” bordersize=”0px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”center” link=”/employee-engagement-kit?utm_source=Happiness%20workshop%20Ayla&utm_medium=FinalCTA&utm_campaign=FinalCTA” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”CTABottomBlog” id=””] [/fusion_imageframe][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”2_3″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding=”20px.” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”innerPageForm” id=””][fusion_title size=”3″ content_align=”center” style_type=”none” sep_color=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” class=”” id=””]Choose Happiness @ Work – Team performance and employee engagement card game[/fusion_title][fusion_text]By applying knowledge of the brain and how we work together, Choose Happiness @ Work engages adult learners in a unique and powerful way. [/fusion_text][fusion_button link=”/employee-engagement-kit?utm_source=Happiness%20workshop%20Ayla&utm_medium=FinalCTA&utm_campaign=FinalCTA” color=”custom” size=”large” stretch=”” type=”” shape=”” target=”_self” title=”” gradient_colors=”#e96b38|#e96b38″ gradient_hover_colors=”|” accent_color=”#ffffff” accent_hover_color=”” bevel_color=”” border_width=”1px” icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” modal=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”1″ animation_offset=”” alignment=”center” class=”” id=””]% Get the Hppy discount today[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
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For many parents, raising happy children is the holy grail of parenting success. But too often, we think happiness is about those fleeting moments of getting what you want. Lasting happiness is actually much more complicated, but much more rewarding. And yes, you can dramatically increase your child's chances of being happy, just by the way you raise him or her.
What makes a happy child who grows into a happy adult? Since happiness is a by-product of emotional health, this whole website is about helping you raise a happy child, from meeting your infant's need to be soothed, to helping your child develop optimism. But let's talk specifically about what makes humans happy.
The latest research on happiness gives us surprising answers. Once survival, safety and basic comforts are assured, external circumstance doesn't affect our happiness level much. Our genes certainly contribute, but their affect can be ameliorated to ratchet up our happiness set points to a higher level. The largest determinant of our happiness turns out to be our own mental, emotional, and physical habits, which create the body chemistry that determines our happiness level.
We all know that some of us tend to be more upbeat than others. Part of this is inborn, just the fate of our genes that give us a happier mood. But much of our mood is habit.
It may seem odd to have happiness referred to as a habit. But it's likely that by the time we're adults, we have settled into the habit of often being happy, or the habit of being largely unhappy.
Happiness is closely linked to three kinds of habits:
- How we think and feel about the world, and therefore perceive our experiences.
- Certain actions or habits, such as regular exercise, eating healthfully, meditating, connecting with other people, even -- proven in study after study -- regularly smiling and laughing!
- Character traits such as self-control, industry, fairness, caring about others, citizenship, wisdom, courage, leadership, and honesty.
In practice, these character traits are just habits; tendencies to act in certain ways when confronted with certain kinds of situations. And certainly it makes sense that the more we exhibit these traits, the better our lives work, the better we feel about ourselves, and the more meaning we find in life -- so the happier we are.
Some of the habits that create happiness are visible, the ways Grandma told us we ought to live: work hard, value relationships with other people, keep our bodies healthy, manage our money responsibly, contribute to our community.
Others are more personal habits of self management that insulate us from unhappiness and create joy in our lives, such as managing our moods and cultivating optimism. But once we make such habits part of our lives, they become automatic and serve a protective function.
How can you help your child begin to develop the habits that lead to happiness?
1. Teach your child constructive mental habits that create happiness.
Managing our moods, positive self-talk, cultivating optimism, celebrating life, practicing gratitude, and appreciating our connected-ness to each other and the entire universe. Build these into your life together so you model them regularly, talk about using them, and your child will copy you.
2. Teach your child self-management routines that create happiness.
Regular exercise, healthy eating, and meditation are all highly correlated with happiness levels. But you and your child may have your own, more personal strategies; for many people music is an immediate mood lifter, for others a walk in nature always works.
3. Cultivate fun.
The old saying that laughter is the best medicine turns out to be true. The more we laugh, the happier we are! It actually changes our body chemistry. So the next time you and your child want to shake off the doldrums, how about a Marx brothers movie?
And here’s a wonderful tool: smiling makes us happier, even when we initially force it. The feedback from our facial muscles informs us that we’re happy, and immediately improves our mood. Not to mention the moods of those around us-- so that feedback loop uplifts everyone.
4. Model positive self- talk.
Foundationsteach To Be Happy Meme
We all need a cheerleader to help us over life’s many hurdles. Who says we can’t be our own? In fact, who better? Research shows that happy people give themselves ongoing reassurance, acknowledgment, praise and pep talks. Talk to yourself like someone you love, aloud so your kids can hear you.
5. Cultivate optimism...
...it inoculates against unhappiness. It’s true that some of us are born more optimistic than others, but we can all cultivate it. Click here for 'How you can help your child become more Optimistic'.
6. Help your child find joy in everyday things.
Studies show that people who notice the small miracles of daily life, and allow themselves to be touched by them, are happier. Daily life overflows with joyful occurrences: The show of the setting sun, no less astonishing for its daily repetition. The warmth of connection with the man at the newsstand who recognizes you and your child. The joy of finding a new book by a favorite author at the library. A letter from Grandma. The first crocuses of spring.
As Albert Einstein said,
'There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.'
Children learn by our example what's important in life.
7. Support your child to prioritize relationships.
Research shows that people who are happiest have more people in their lives, and deeper relationships with those people. Teach your child that while relationships take work, they're worth it.
8. Help your child develop gratitude.
'We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.' -- Frederick Keonig
Many people think they can't be grateful until they're happy, meaning until they have something to be grateful for. But look closely and you'll find that it's the opposite: people are happy because they are grateful. People who describe themselves as consciously cultivating gratefulness are rated as happier by those who know them, as well as by themselves.
Children don’t have a context for life, so they don’t know whether they are lucky or unlucky, only that their friend Brendon has more expensive sneakers. But there are many ways to help children learn to cultivate gratitude, which is the opposite of taking everything for granted. (Hint: Think modeling, not lecturing).
9. Accept all emotions.
Life is full of joy, but even for the happiest person life is also full of loss and pain, and we have daily reasons to grieve, large and small. Acknowledging our sad feelings isn't focusing on the negative, it's opening ourselves to the full range of being human. Accepting those uncomfortable sad feelings actually deepens our ability to take joy in our lives.
So choosing to be happy doesn't mean repressing our feelings. It means acknowledging and honoring all our feelings, and letting ourselves feel them. That allows us to move through the feelings, so they start to dissolve.
With your child, simply empathizing with her upset feelings will allow her to feel them, and will help the feelings start to evaporate so she can move on. This is not a process that can be rushed, so give your child (or yourself) whatever time you need.
10. Help him learn how to manage his moods.
Most people don’t know that they can choose to let bad moods go and consciously change their moods. But practice in doing this can really make us happier. You can practice this by:
- Monitoring your own moods.
- Allowing yourself to feel the emotions while you hold yourself with love.
- Noticing any negative thoughts that are giving rise to the emotions. ('My child shouldn't be acting this way! He'll grow up to be a terrible person if he does this!')
- Choosing a thought that makes you feel a little better. (For instance, 'My child is acting like a child because he IS a child. He won't always be like this.')
Of course, the hard part is choosing to change a bad mood. While you're in it, it's hard to take constructive action to change things. You don't have to go from desolate to cheerful. Just find a way to help yourself feel slightly better. That empowers you to actually face what's upsetting you, and try to solve it. Sometimes just changing our the way we're thinking about a situation really shifts things. So, instead of 'How can he be nasty to me like that, with all I do for him?!' you might try
'It's normal for children to get angry at their parents. He's struggling right now, and he needs me to try to understand him.'
How to help your child with her moods? Sometime when she's in a good mood, talk with her about strategies for getting into a better mood: what works for her? Share what works for you. Then, when she’s in a bad mood, start by empathizing. After she's had some time to feel her upset, ask her if she wants help to change her mood. Even if she’s able to choose a better mood only one out of ten times initially, she’ll soon start to notice how much better her life works when she does it.
11. Counteract the message that happiness can be bought.
As parents, we need to remember that we are not the only ones teaching our children about life. They get the constant media message that the goal of life is more money and more things. Ultimately, what we model and what we tell them will matter more, but we need to confront those destructive messages directly.
12. Help your child learn the joy of contribution.
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Research shows that the pride of contributing to the betterment of society makes us happier, and it will make our children happier too. Our job as parents is to find ways for them to make a positive difference in the world so they can enjoy and learn from this experience.
“Happiness is a by-product of character. In people who are developing a strong character, there is a dramatically higher level of happiness than in those who live to chase after the next good time.” -Pat Holt and Grace Ketterman, MD
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